Un-Smart

In high school I was always in the top 10% of the students in my class. My awesome genetics did most of the work of learning, and all I had to do was show up and absorb the information. I got a scholarship for academics simply because I was naturally intelligent. I chose my major simply because I thought I could get a job in the field. I thought I would enjoy it. Now I'm not so certain.

As an English major I am expected to read a paltry forty pages a night, and write around 7 or 8 pages worth of essays a week. This is not counting the work I have to do for my general education classes (Chemistry 1110 and Spanish 2010). All I can say is I'm starting to burn out. I feel even worse because when I do the reading and try to comment in my theory class (the WORST class I have ever taken, mostly because I hate philosophy) I get shut down and told why my opinion is wrong and in layman's terms, how stupid I am for believing how I do. I'm just trying to learn, but I feel like I'm being attacked for being different. Ironically enough, the class that I feel the most confident in is my chemistry class. It may be because the teacher is the Dean of Sciences, and one of the most fantastic teachers I have ever had, but I couldn't be certain. All I know is that I don't feel like an idiot when I get something wrong in his class, whereas I feel exceedingly stupid every time I so much as walk into my English classes. This being said, I am shopping for a new major...

Onto happier things:

Next weekend is General Conference, and I am so totally excited! I love the opportunity to listen to the counsels given by the leaders of the Church. I love getting to spend that time with my family too!

Another happy thing in my life is that I am working on another story! It is a lot of fun, the characters are actually likable, and they are easy to have swimming around in my mind. I hope to finish this story soon. For those of you who still haven't read my last book, don't worry. You really aren't missing anything. Looking back, I am SO over it. I wasn't much of a fan of the characters while I was writing them, but I wrote them down to get them out of my head.

OOH! I'm part of this club on campus that works to educate the students about health issues facing them at this time in their lives (drugs, alcohol, mental health, sex, eating disorders, etc.) and it has been so great! We throw parties every couple of weekends so that students can have a fun option of something to do instead of going out and partying or getting high or something. Tonight we're going to be watching What About Bob, and I'm kinda excited, because I've only seen it once.

As you can probably tell, I am not very focused at the moment, so I shall be leaving you off with a final quote from my AWESOME roommate, Rebecca:

"Maturity is knowing when to be mature"