Life Since August.

Haven't updated in a while. I figure I ought to let people know what's up in my life...

i'm getting married!

just kidding. i actually am exceedingly single.... and perfectly okay with that because at my age i don't need anyone to date, because i'm WAY too young to be getting into a relationship... i'm not even going to the dance because all my guy friends have SERIOUS girlfriends, or are just getting over serious relationships, isn't being a teenager fun?

i'm over booked with theatre, creative writing, pre-school, American Problems, and three extra online classes piled on top of that. it's just splendifferous... but i can do it, because i am a vernon, and we kick butt...

thanks giving was fantastic. i love getting to be with my family. we had the cousins that i've grown up with over, plus my sister's new in-laws (they were fun) the house was over-run with kidletts; i LOVED it!

I got to go to the High School Shakespeare Competition down in Cedar City back in October. it was a great time. We took third with our ensemble scene (a great accomplishment because it was our teacher's first year) I didn't compete with my monologue, but it was a blast. I took a monologue from the play, "all's well that ends well" and i did a scene from "Taming of the Shrew" with my best friend, Ann. i really love shakespeare, and other classical writers, I'm working on a scene from a play called "Tartuffe" right now. I'm loving it. it's so funny. I've also been cast in the one act for my school's competition piece, i am an obnoxiously over-bearing aunt who talks too much... that doesn't sound like me at all... ;) but all-in-all theatre is going great, and i'm loving acting.

I haven't had much time for writing fiction lately, but i still love it. I'm getting back into it because i have a creative writing class at school right now. If anyone is interested in reading my book... i dunno if you should be... but if you are, please contact me at my house, or my cell, and i can put you on the list, right now it consists of my mom, summer, and a girl from the ward.

i've decided that school isn't my favorite thing. but everyone has to deal with that, right? i'm getting a pretty awful case of SENIOR-ITIS.... and it's no-bueno...

other than that... i'm looking forward to christmas, and i'll try to update between now and my birthday.

Back To School

Well, here I am, starting my senior year of high school. I have some killer classes this tri., two of which showcase the two dominant, yet opposite sides of my personality. Preschool (which showcases my future-homemaker side that loves to bake, and care for little ones) should be fun, but it will also be a ton of work ( I counted 8 essays, I think, plus all the other stuff i have to do in that class). The other class is Theater 3 (which showcases my love for fun and expressing myself in a unique way). Those are my 4th and 5th periods, so a great way to end the day, right? along with that I'm taking Psychology 1010, English 1010, and Math 1050.

I'm not really fully awake right now, so I'm going to use bullets rather than try to string two thoughts together.


First impressions (school):

• There are some cute people in my math class, so that should be good, seeing as it's math, so I will need as much help as I can get.

• I have the same B.A.M.S. teacher this year, and she's just stinkin' awesome (she's grown on me over the past 3 years).

• The new drama teacher still scares me. Actually I'm almost terrified of her, but I'll get over that soon.

• I'm excited because the Shakespeare competition will be the weekend after Conference, instead of the weekend of Conference, so I don't have to lose that family time.

Summer Quickies:

• I baked at least 30 dozen cookies this summer. (I call baking my new nasty habit)

• I burned myself baking cookies this summer (actually there was a story behind this: I was baking cookies to put in my purse when my friends and I went to the premier of the sixth Harry Potter movie, and burned a dozen, so as i was scraping them into the trash, I got distracted by the conversation I was having with my best friend, Stu, and i rested the still-hot cookie sheet against my arm. Needless to say, I burned myself good. Well, he went to Disney World this last week, and he brought me back an oven mitt so that I wouldn't burn myself... I thought it best to remind him that every time i burned myself this summer (4) I was wearing an oven mitt.)

• I got to take care of my beautiful older sister Summer's girls for a few weeks. That was probably the highlight of my summer they were cuter than a box of kittens, and so well behaved. I want 3 just like them when I'm much older (like 7 years at least). But it was a blast. I got to meet some awesome people. The Riches, Lacey, and the Simpsons left the most lasting impression, but I also loved Sis. Butler, and all the little beehives (Summer's Hurricane ward is pretty sweet)

• I attended what might unfortunately be my last year of girls' camp as a youth, and LOVED every minute of it. I got to be YCL for an exemplary group of 13-year-old girls. I hope they had a good time. I tried my best.

• I went to Lagoon (where fun is) with my best friends, Nick, Nick, and Nicie (Stu, Wallace and Nicie). We had a blast, I think friends are the family you get to choose, and sometimes have to lose. ( but I hope I never have to lose these 3 because they make me happy)

• I made a quilt this summer too with the help of my awesome friend Kenz. It's really cute. it's blue and green. It is only a rag quilt, nothing extremely fancy, but it makes me happy.
• l
• I started a new book (Frog Eyes and Fairy Tales) It's about Nick, Nick, Nicie and myself with many of my other friends thrown in. I took major creative licence on the characterizations, but I tried to keep the reasons I love each person in their characters. The book is actually written for Nicole, and I don't know how many others I'm going to let read it, but I may if you send me a special request.

Well, that's all for now, folks. I gotta go work on MATH HOMEWORK (blech!)

End of school

it has not hit me yet that i will not be going back to the classes that have tortured me for the past few weeks. i have not yet fully realized that i won't see many of my close acquaintances ever again. they will all move on and become "real" people. with lives and jobs... AHHHH! that's me in a year.

here is reality: i am now a senior! i have turned in my check out slip, and all grades are final. my Junior year of high school is OVER! I'm half dancing, and half crying. you know me, i don't do endings! i cry at the end of every movie, simply because it's over, don't believe me? that's because i hide it so well.

it is a wonder to me that the friends i have now won't be my friends in 30 years, my mom certainly doesn't see many of her high school friends any more. is this what it comes to.... i put all this effort into friendships, and in even so much as 2 years the people i love will have forgotten me. that's not fair. i sincerely love Nick, Nicole, Nicholas, Annie, and many of the others. i don't want to lose them. that doesn't make sense. but hopefully the technologies that my generation has hold of, we'll stay in touch at the touch of a few buttons. that seems better to me. i hope it is the reality.

i realize now that there are more cute guys at my school than i could find in a school out of state. but i don't give a fetch what a guy looks like. yeah, it's nice to have all his parts there, nose, eyes, etc. but that isn't what matters. it's what he says and does that matters. i am constantly commenting to my friends, "oooOh, that boy is cute" or "man that boy is a hottie" some of my friends only know that shallow side of me (sorry for them) but i don't think that way, and the boys who i comment on their looks are usually the guys i avoid talking to... not because they're awful people, just because i suffer from chronic shyness (you wouldn't guess that, but i'm even shy around my own family sometimes) but there are some boys who have looks and personality, and it is wonderful to be their friends, and that is totally what you want, but it would be nice if they were... well... okay more than a friend. that's where i'm at right now. i value his friendship as more than all the gold in the universe, and i care for him immensely, but i don't know what he thinks of me. Ugh i always do this to my self! new rule: "Crystal isn't allowed to try to gauge how people feel about her, because she'll always judge that they think she's a freak that they're forced out of civility to spend time with." all who agree with this rule say "aye" t

hat's what i thought...


moving on:

my summer starts, and i'll be out of town for the first 5-6 weeks. but that's okay, because i have the last few to relax while i try to find a job for the school year. (i'm hoping that i'll get one in this place by my house... i hope they have an opening at the end of the summer)

if you have my number, don't hesitate to text me. i love talking to people. it's sorta my thing that i do. and if you don't have my number then i feel sorry for you, unless you're a stranger... in which case... i'm sorry, but that's not where i talk to strangers.

wow. this is my last post for a while. (on penningjade) and i hope every one will have a great time this summer, even if your routine doesn't change. just live life, laugh at your own mistakes, and love the people you surround yourself with.

Fast Forward on Pause.

the picture of my life hasn't really changed much in the last few weeks, I'm still not dating boys, I'm still in school, I'm still shorter than I'd like to be, but a few things have changed.

1. i cut my hair. this time it was really a big change, but i thought I'd do something new for Amber's wedding.

this picture is odd, but it was the only one that would upload right...




2. I have gained more confidence, although i have still not mastered it, i am able to stand in front of people as myself without much fear.



There are some things that never change, i guess.

• I'm still afraid of spiders; the other morning i found one in the bathroom, and i screamed for help, and Angel just sat there, ignoring me. I was stuck until Mom came to rescue me.


• i still like boys. i don't know if i want that one to change. but since i was 3 or 4 I've liked many different boys. each time it was the same, i liked him, he didn't know, he found out, and his back as he ran away screaming was the last thing I'd ever see of him. but this time it's different, he knows, and i don't care that he knows, neither does he. we're still friends, and nothing more. :D


• i will never be happy with anything but the best from myself. i have pretty impressive grades this trimester, all A's excepting one C, and one B+, and those two classes are KILLER. but , being me, i am murderously unhappy about the C, and the B+ drives me crazy too...

i guess changes are only changed if i change them, so i should work on that..... well i have run out of time. so i shall sign out from here, although i did want to put up one pic of me from Prom.

anyhow. thanks for reading my posts. :D have a spectacular day!

Prom.

Well the event occurred. I actually went to Prom. Of course, wild boars couldn't have kept me away (but swine flu might have) and i had a wonderful time.

My date, Nicholas Wallace (nick, or Wallace is what we call him. he responds to both) picked me up around 1:00, and we went bowling. i did not know anything about where we were going until we got there. My friend Nicie, and her boy Nick Stu were the other couple in the group. I did not have my best day, but it was not my worst either. bowling with my dear friends was a blast, we talked and joked. (i have to put out a joke that you won't understand unless you know the situation, but it's a great line when you're on a double date and the other couple is too lovey-dovey, "hey, we're like a four wheeler, only, more like a motorcycle with two extra wheels" it got me some laughs at the time) we had to leave half way through the second game because Nicie needed to get home for her hair appointment.
we got stuck in traffic, and missed our exit, but it was an adventure, and we got her home safe. then the guys dropped me home and the panic to get ready began.

i borrowed my friend, Yazzy's, little sister and had her do my hair, we curled it in little 1/2 inch curls and pinned the front half up. it looked/s amazing. (Zoe, if you're reading this, a million times thanks!) the hair was taking longer than Zoe had expected (having had long, thick hair for a while now i can pretty much count on my hair taking at the shortest 1 hour to curl it all, so i wasn't shocked when we were running it to the wire. I hurried and did my makeup while doing a balancing act with my head, so that i didn't mess either Zoe or myself up. I was ready just in time, because i had just stepped out of my room when i saw Wallace pulling into the driveway.

I ran into the kitchen to show everyone how i looked, and i got a general "ooh" and "ah" response , (more enthusiastic than necessary from Kyle, but he meant well) and then the door bell rang. it was sort of surreal, my mom mad me hide in my daddy's office while she answered the door. then i forgot the boutonniere, so i had to run back to the kitchen before he got a proper look at me. then i came around through the living room, and he got a look at me, and i heard him say "wow" i blushed, but luckily the makeup was still fresh enough that the blush didn't show, (i must admit that when i saw him my heart leaped at how good he looked, "how did i get this LUCKY?") after my parents took pictures, we went down to Nicie's to get her (Stu was already in the car) when we were at Nicie's she was not quite ready, so we waited down in the living room, and Nicie's little sister entertained us for a little while. once Nicie came down the stairs (she was STUNNING!) her parents took more pictures, and then we were off.

I was not told where we were going for dinner, and so I was sort of annoyed (I don't' like being kept in the dark, but I'm getting used to it) well even Wallace was lost, and it ended up that he wasn't lost, it was the wrong place (he stressed out about that, but i didn't care much, just to be out to PROM was enough, especially with someone as nice as Wallace) We went to a Sushi place, and me being a very VERY western person, i could not bring myself to try sushi, but i did have Wallace order my food for me, because i had no clue what to get. he ordered the teryaki chicken, a safe bet for a chicken lover like me. the food was good, but i was so nervous that i only ate half my food, i felt bad, because i wasn't trying to look all delicate, or like i ate little, i was just too excited to think about food, or to really eat anything, especially because i could hardly breathe in my dress (thanks to the corset that's built into it, but it was worth it)

after dinner we went to Stu's house (more pictures) and then we headed to the capitol for the dance. it was so beautiful, and the pictures there were fun (I'm excited to see them)
the dance its self was fun too. we hung out on the main floor for a while, every ones' dresses were so pretty (except the ones that were too short, or too low cut, or too.... well, you know, the dress that's not meant to cover, but to show, the kind that make me gag, and good guys look away) i really loved my friend, Kelsey's, hair. well, the sad story is that they only played ONE slow song the whole time we were at the dance! i taught Wallace the basic step for the Waltz (my favorite dance of the lot), and we had a marvelous time. i even got him to dance some fast songs (his way, so that he wasn't shaken to death by Nicie, she is rather forceful...)

after the dance we went to Nicie's grandfather's Italian suit store. we hung out there, and when we sat I showed of the awesomeness of my poofiness on my dress. Nicie's grandfather was really nice, Italian men usually are, it was really cool meeting him.
after a short tour of the building, including the beautiful court yard, we went to Temple square, we sat outside by the reflection pool and just watched the temple. Nick and i talked about a lot of different things. how my grandparents me, missions, Nick and Nicie, the taboo of Annie (her name was technically taboo because Nicie didn't want to make Wallace miss her too much, although i was doing my best to fill her shoes)

we sat and talked for quite a while, and when we left, we ran into more construction (that is not a really fabulous way to "put Utah to work" unless you also are referring to the number of anger management councilors that you will also employ from all the people blowing up over the time wasted trying to pass construction sites) we got into a quiet part of town, i was nervous, so i non-challantely locked all the doors. they took Nicie home first (Stu took less time at the door than i would have ever guessed) and then Wallace took me home. we said good bye on the door step, and he left, and i went inside changed into my pj's and began blogging (for the benefit of my readers i wanted to blog it fast so that it would be fresh)

it is still sort of surreal that i went to PROM. i mean i always wanted to, but i would never have guessed that i would get asked to Prom, especially never would have guessed someone as, well, cool as Wallace would ask me. (Wallace, if you're reading this, thank you again for asking me, i was stunned, and thrilled.) i guess i should go to sleep now, since it's after 1:00 a.m. so i shall write again soon.

Prom was the best!

~ Crying-Crystal-Jade

A virtual miracle

It's the middle of April, sorry I haven't blogged in a while, I've just been too busy, and haven't had anything exciting to write about, but today I am so excited about two major rights of passage that every teen-aged girl should go through.

1. I have now seen Wicked! I remember the first time I heard about it, it was thanksgiving morning, in the year 2002, and I was sitting on my momma's bed watching the Macy's parade. I saw a clip of the musical come on, you know how they stop and do little shows for the news, well I fell in love (it may have had something to do with the fact that I was in A "Wizard of Oz" play that year). Well, the play was worth the 6 years' wait, and the killer migraine that I suffered on my way home from the play.

2. The virtual miracle that I was mentioning in the title to this blog: I got asked to Prom! now, some of you may not be shocked by this happening, I mean I understand that I am perfectly fantastic as human beings go, but with things as they are, and my previous history in the department, I figured that I’d be passed over, again, come Prom time this year. I was asked by my friend Nick, not Angel's friend Nick, or my friend Nicie's friend Nick, but my friend Nick. He’s a pretty cool guy, one of the best as guys at my school go, and he is one of my dear friends. He’s taller than me, by more than a few inches, so I can wear heels! That is something that I have not had difficulty with for a while, but I still remember my first dance when I had to take off my shoes to be shorter than my date.

Other than those, there are some other exciting things going on. My sister (A) is getting married (I am not sure if I told you this before, but she probably has) they got engaged on my birthday. My other sister (H) is finishing up her first year up at Utah State, and I’m excited to have her home.

I’ve fallen in love with driving, and am not excited to have to worry about riding the bus again, but I have to ride the bus for the next week or so. L

I’ll close with a quote:

“Sometimes you’ve got to hit rock bottom to start making a climb worth your while, and sometimes, there’s someone there to catch you before you hit it.”

New Trimester

ugh! i hate endings! i miss my creative writing class most of all, but i love the freedom i have now that i have 2 online courses, because on days where i have nothing to do, i can just sit at the computer and write... I've gotten some fun stuff written...

i love my friends though. and life is pretty fantastic. i have friends in every class to talk to, but there are these annoying guys who sit behind me in one of my classes that are always saying "calm down" even when i am not being keyed up... it sort of bothers me, but i always laugh because when they swear, i tell them to calm down and they get a taste of their own medicine. ha ha!

I'm trying to start exercising again. it is sort of fun, I've taken to riding the stationary bicycle in the basement for half an hour at a time, it is really sweet. i love feeling the burn without feeling the fire in my lungs, because i can still breathe when i ride, where i can't when i run...

i'm missing the stage right now, but i'm satisfying myself by singing almost constantly, so i torture my loved twin sister wit that ha ha! but she loves me anyhow, doesn't she...

well, i think i'll write more later this week, but i'm done for now... so that's all for now, and:

have a fantastic day!

-crystal Jade

School Dance

*sigh* that's the first thing that came out of my mouth as i began to type this, so a *sigh* i shall write.

I love my family first off! To any of my cousins reading this, i just love you!

Okay, i shall write the bad of last night (the school dance) first, so that it won't have to corrupt the paragraphs full of the good: I'M NEVER SHOPPING AT DRESS BARN AGAIN! i bought a really cute dress there for the dance (I'll post pictures of me in the dress as soon as i get them) but it was really cute (white with pink tulips on the bottom). well, when we got out to the car after dinner, it RIPPED OPEN!!! I would understand that happening if i were fat, or if i had eaten a huge meal, but i had only had a cup of soup and a few fries (my friend who did the ordering forgot my main dish). well, we went to my friends' house and did the best surgery that we could, and fixed the dress. (i also switched sweaters with my friend Annie, because we had the same color, just hers was longer)well, it turned out alright, but we had to keep pinning my dress back together all night, but we still didn't let it get awkward (because that would not have been fun)

well that was the bad, now let me get into the rest of the night, which was absolutely wonderful:

I was planing on picking my date up at 4:50, and then we'd go to a centralized location where i would park my car, and i wouldn't have to drive for the rest of the evening. I didn't get out of the house until that time, so i was a little late in picking him up, but he didn't' notice.
when i got to his house he was still downstairs, so i talked to his mom for a little while ( i was shaking like a little leaf [my performance jitters when i haven't rehearsed enough] because i had no clue what to say. well, i was just smiling and talking to them, and then my date came up to the landing (he lives in a split level home)and then he continued along upstairs (i remember distinctly someone blasting Greece, which made me laugh because it was "You're the one that i want" i laughed inside. well, my date, his name is Daniel, came down and he had a pretty corsage for my wrist. he slipped it on my wrist, and we were off.
Neither of us had any clue how to get the central location(Nicie's house), so we were depending upon map quest which was really stupid because they took us the most round about way possible. when we got to the gate, she buzzed us in, but it wasn't enough, we still needed to know which house was hers, i was pretty sure it was the one on the end, but not positive, so i had Daniel call, and he handed me the cell phone ( i hate having a cell phone in my hand while driving, even if I'm moving under 10mph) well, we drove to the end house, but i wasn't sure it was hers, so i turned around, and started driving the other way, but the numbers were going the wrong way, so i turned around again (it was like a zillion point turn) and it so happened that it
WAS the house on the end. i parked, and we went inside (everyone was laughing at me).
When we got inside Nicie's dad took pictures, and then we sat down to the game that i had spent so much "painstaking process" and "hours of forced randomness" to put together. it was really fun, it was just a get to know you game.
After the get to know you game, we went to dinner at Training Table. while we were waiting for our food to come up, Daniel and i played slaps ( i hope you're familiar with that game because it is a lot of fun, if not a little violent). he was winning, because i am infinitely bad at that game. we teased everyone at the table, and we had a lot of fun. after that we headed off to the dance (we made a quick stop at Annie's because of my dress)
when we got to the dance, my English teacher was taking tickets, and that was fun, because i got to see her. we took the pictures (I'll post them as soon as i can) and then headed into the dance. the music wasn't that great (that may be partially due to the fact that i don't like the popular music of my generation, i like country) well, Daniel and i danced together (even on the fast songs which most guys are afraid to do, so there were some major points earned by him there) it was a total blast!
After the dance we went to Nicie's house again, and watched The Princess Bride it 's the perfect movie, honestly, it's funny, but romantic, with a little bit of intensity. Sometime at the dance (or in the car, i can't remember specifically) Daniel and i started fighting over who could touch the other person's nose the most (another thing i stink at infinitely) well, every time i went to touch his nose, he blocked me, and got my nose one more time (leaving me in the dust very fast).
When the movie was over (four minutes before Daniel had predicted it would be) i took Daniel home. i drove the faster way (all right turns :D). when we got to his neighborhood, i was driving really slowly, because i didn't want the night to really be over, i had had so much fun. i parked in front of his house, and let him come around and open my door (the first traditionally chivalrous thing he'd been able to do all night with so many people together in the car before). we walked up to the door, and said goodbye with a hug. He walked up to his door, grabbed the door handle, and was about to open the door, but it was locked, so he had to go around to the back. it was silly.

well, before i started the car, i texted my friend Annie to tell her that Daniel had made it home in one piece, even though i had a splitting headache. then i drove home, and went inside. (Kyle was still here, so i couldn't park in my parking spot in the garage, so i parked on the driveway).

that was absolutely the most fun ever. it was a great dance, great fun, and a great guy. Honestly, Daniel is one of the most fun guy friends that i have. :D i had a lot of fun.

Some sort of stress

ugh! school seriously crushes creativity. i'm running on empty in the energy department, and now rather than wandering to la la land (a good place full of happy dreams, and forever afters) i go to nowhere in my mind (lint, and some sawdust) it's really boring, and it won't even incorporate what i'm learning into its self.nothing new here. just la la land's disapperence. i asked a boy to the school dance next weekend, he's a good friend, but he's being really lame, he hasn't answered me yet. (i asked him on friday, so i'll be patient with him for a few more days, but that's all i can promise)

i love life. it's really a great blessing to be alive in this time. I'm so glad i have good parents who care about me, and let me be myself (to an extent).

book is done. should be printing it soon. i'll keep you updated as i am.

parents are painting the house, so it's torn apart right now, so i feel like i don't belong ANYWHERE, so i hope that i can feel at home somewhere soon.

that's all i've got energy for today (i haven't been sleeping well lately, i've been having dreams about terrible disasters that i awake from with screams of terror)
so ttfn!

-Crystal Jade

Poetry

so i have a Creative Writing class that I'm taking, it's super-uper-dooper fun!( i pretty much love all the classes of my day! i have the four BEST classes ever, and one not so bad.)
Well, i'm pretty much loving life, watching Crime shows, and stuff that makes me feel better about the relative calmnes of my life...
right, back to my Creative Writing class... i have to write poetry (as you can assume from the title of the class....) well, i thought i'd post some of my better stuff on this place so you could read it.

Keep in mind that i'm a writer based on exagerations, so alot of these poems are based upon DRAMATIC exxagerations of emotions....enjoy :D


(Distraction)

You make my mind curdle
like milk left to long.
You make my mind wander
like Louis and Clark.

With you two and two are five.
A pumpkin is more than a squash.
And the sun burns bright.

Trying to concentrate on an old dead guy
taking notes
Zoning out
my notes are you.
I want to learn you.
You’re my favorite chemistry.
I try to learn Graham
but I won’t

Something in the Shadows

Beyond my line of vision,
past all things I can see
there’s something out there pawing
it’s out to murder me
a wave of fierce attention
then forgotten into sleep
through mists and fog
inside it hides to force me six feet deep.
I sense it in my mind’s eye
I hear it’s calling faint.
I don’t know where it comes from
But I really need to find
What lurks there in the shadows
If it’s not just in my mind.

Something in the Shadows

Beyond my line of vision,
past all things I can see
there’s something out there pawing
it’s out to murder me
a wave of fierce attention
then forgotten into sleep
through mists and fog
inside it hides to force me six feet deep.
I sense it in my mind’s eye
I hear it’s calling faint.
I don’t know where it comes from
But I really need to find
What lurks there in the shadows
If it’s not just in my mind.

(Unreal)

This cannot happen
Ice and snow burning me while
I freeze to death voluntarily.

This is brokenness. I have lost faith
in you In love In me
This cannot happen.

Tonight is the end.
I give up on all that I knew
As I freeze to death voluntarily.

Then I’m pulled out, out of
my snow bank and I think
This cannot happen

I want to die to cry
To end the pain
As I freeze to death voluntarily

This cannot happen
Don’t save me and stop me
As I freeze to death voluntarily

Sam

Best friend.

After all that we’ve been through
Every heart break
Every month ache
You have been there
Standing tall
Arms open for me
To cry to die, to pretend
that what I’m going through is
the end of the world.
and still you stand by

And then I realize
All your lies
And you turn

Best fried?

Pffh!
Pushing me out of a moving vehiclehurting my physically and mentally
Some friend!
But I’ll be there.
Arms open
Even though my wrist is sprained
I’m here for you

Best friend.


(Ignoring Love)


What is that?
Love?
I don’t hear its call.
it blares in my ears
it stomps on my face
it follows me around
poking me in the eye
but I can’t hear it
I can’t see it
I won’t let myself feel it.

but I have love
that I know clear as jade

Tomorrow maybe I’ll see love
But today, I love water
I’ll die for water


Talking Crazy

Don’t be rash.
Don’t leap in.
Like fools in love
Because he is not the only man

Don’t let adolescence win
And cause you to die
In a true lover’s style
Because today is not the end.

Don’t run with scissors
Don’t drink and drive
Like an idiot with no conscience
Because if you’re safe you won’t get hurt

Don’t forget who you are
And blind yourself with fantasy
In every movement you see
Because a moment can hurt tomorrow

Then run to where you would be
If he weren’t there to destroy you
And forget about how he made you feel
Because wise fools never rush in

Oblivious

He smiles when I look at him
I can’t imagine why
He makes me laugh repetitively
I can’t imagine why
But each movement he makes
Make me feel safe
Each word from his lips
Is eloquence
I can’t imagine why
I see his face as plain as mansions
And he is looking at me
Smiling, with desire, and
I can’t imagine why.

okay, so that's a taste of my poetry, (also of my book because most of the poems are about chapters in my book, you know, Snowdrifts, so yeah.

Have a Super-ooper-dooper day!

-Crystal Jade

Birthday....

i'm seventeen now, can you believe it??? ( i know me neither)

well. today being my birthday, i dressed up really pretty, (not really, but i can wish i did)

today was great, at first i refused to admit that it was my birthday because i dont' want to be "old" but i'm finally reconciled with my age because i have friends who turn ninteen this year (not for a while, but still) well, i got cards, and the wall of my Facebook page got attacked with posts today.... i got to go shopping with my momma, and i accidentally broke my tiara (which i hot-glued together again) and i ate way too much chicken.... my weakness in the way of meats.... i'm sort of tired today, and i've been acting goofy.... i should probably get sleep again soon, becuase this whole not-sleeping-because-i-want-to-get-more-done thing is not working for me....

so i'll probably finish this post for now, and i'll write again when i have time again.

-Crystal Jade

Too OLD!

okay, i know almost everyone who reads this will say otherwise, but i'm OLD! i'm nearly SEVENTEEN! AHH! you dont' know how scary that is for me! i'm usually really calm, or even excited about birthdays, but for some reason, i'm dreading this birthday. i'm nearly terrified!
it's like all my life i was waiting to turn sixteen, and now that i am, and am almost not again, it's just a world that my immaginatuion has never explored. I dunno, i guess it won't change anythig, i'll still be myself, but it seems so weird. i'm a sixteen-year-old. i think i'd like to stay a sixteen-year-old. other wise i will have to start growing up. and what's the fun in that?

that is all i have time for right now.

-Crystal Jade