Un-Smart

In high school I was always in the top 10% of the students in my class. My awesome genetics did most of the work of learning, and all I had to do was show up and absorb the information. I got a scholarship for academics simply because I was naturally intelligent. I chose my major simply because I thought I could get a job in the field. I thought I would enjoy it. Now I'm not so certain.

As an English major I am expected to read a paltry forty pages a night, and write around 7 or 8 pages worth of essays a week. This is not counting the work I have to do for my general education classes (Chemistry 1110 and Spanish 2010). All I can say is I'm starting to burn out. I feel even worse because when I do the reading and try to comment in my theory class (the WORST class I have ever taken, mostly because I hate philosophy) I get shut down and told why my opinion is wrong and in layman's terms, how stupid I am for believing how I do. I'm just trying to learn, but I feel like I'm being attacked for being different. Ironically enough, the class that I feel the most confident in is my chemistry class. It may be because the teacher is the Dean of Sciences, and one of the most fantastic teachers I have ever had, but I couldn't be certain. All I know is that I don't feel like an idiot when I get something wrong in his class, whereas I feel exceedingly stupid every time I so much as walk into my English classes. This being said, I am shopping for a new major...

Onto happier things:

Next weekend is General Conference, and I am so totally excited! I love the opportunity to listen to the counsels given by the leaders of the Church. I love getting to spend that time with my family too!

Another happy thing in my life is that I am working on another story! It is a lot of fun, the characters are actually likable, and they are easy to have swimming around in my mind. I hope to finish this story soon. For those of you who still haven't read my last book, don't worry. You really aren't missing anything. Looking back, I am SO over it. I wasn't much of a fan of the characters while I was writing them, but I wrote them down to get them out of my head.

OOH! I'm part of this club on campus that works to educate the students about health issues facing them at this time in their lives (drugs, alcohol, mental health, sex, eating disorders, etc.) and it has been so great! We throw parties every couple of weekends so that students can have a fun option of something to do instead of going out and partying or getting high or something. Tonight we're going to be watching What About Bob, and I'm kinda excited, because I've only seen it once.

As you can probably tell, I am not very focused at the moment, so I shall be leaving you off with a final quote from my AWESOME roommate, Rebecca:

"Maturity is knowing when to be mature"

Perspective and How it Applies to Chemistry

When you think of a chemistry class, what is your reaction? Many shudder, others cringe, and there is a general distaste for the subject, or there is in my peer group (being an English major the sciences tend to scare a little). With that as my natural reaction, I was a little nervous when I walked into the large lecture room in the frigid basement of the Science Building on Tuesday afternoon for my 2:30 Chem 1110 class. I was thinking to myself, "well, I aced high school chemistry, but that was 4 years ago". Having picked the class because it fit into my desired time frame, and not for the sake of any professor who was teaching it (not that I would know before hand any of the science professors), I was nervous that I would end up with an unreasonable professor who would just drone on about the periodic table and wouldn't look up from his notes except to stare down his nose at us disapprovingly. This has not been my experience previously, of course.

On the contrary, my high school chemistry teacher was a round, engaging, and very clever man who knew what was going on in his classroom but let the delinquents think they were getting away with their foolishness until their tests came back with no score because he saw them copying/discussing the answers with a friend. ... but I digress...

At 2:30 on the nose, my professor walked into the room, he was a skinny man with white hair (where hair remained) surrounding a bald crown. I heard the girl next to me mutter with slight amazement that he was the DEAN of the Science Department (being an English major, I really wouldn't know what the dean of the science department looks like, so I took her at her word). Professor Eves introduced himself, and spoke about the class. It seemed that most of the students were in there because they were required to be there for the nursing program, nobody mentioned filling a General Ed requirement. My blood froze. I thought I was in the wrong class ( I later checked, and the course does fill the General Ed requirement which is my reason for taking it). I was delighted, as the eighty minute course progressed, to find that Dr. Eves is really a very pleasant fellow. Utah bred, and very knowledgeable about the material, he assured the class that he was going to prepare us for the standardized final exam quite well, and that we shouldn't be concerned about passing it because SUU's students have always been well above average in the past decade or so.

I titled this post "Perspective" and you're probably still not sure why. Well, I wanted to focus on my perspective walking into class on Tuesday, and my change of perspective walking out of class this afternoon. I decided that this class can be easy, or it can be hard, I just have to let myself think it's going to be fun to learn this, and it will be fun. Because that's the light I'll be shining on it. (feel free to check on me in a couple months and see if I'm still enjoying my CHEMISTRY class!)

That's all for now, until next time,

PenningJade

The T-Bird Has Landed

I know it's a pretty un-original title for a post, but I couldn't think of anything more exciting. I have finally made it to school. The summer is over, and I don't have to go back to work in Holiday again! Among other things, this summer taught me patience, relaxation, the fact that I'm too young to really know the world yet, and that even though someone likes me I don't have to like them, at all...

This was a lot to learn in 4 months, but I did, and I am glad that those lessons are over with.

Moving on to where I am now, I am back in Cedar City, with an education on my mind. I am excited to be learning more about the beautiful language I have been given, and better ways to manipulate people with my words... I mean... better ways to manipulate my words to communicate...

I am living off campus this year in a house with 9 other girls. There are 6 girls "upstairs" and 4 more of us in the basement. It's freezing in the basement because the thermostat is upstairs, so we have no control over that. There's a funny-fishy smell in my bedroom that I would like to get rid of also, but other than that the place is perfect. There is tons of space, and we have a great group of girls. It's only a short ride from campus, so I can sleep a little later. I really do love school.

My ward is GREAT there were these really cute guys in one of my Institute classes last semester and I was sad when the class was over because I would never get to see their faces again, but... they're in my ward! ;) not that I go to church (or Institute for that matter) with the sole intent of seeing cute guys, that is just an added bonus to the already great experience of learning more about the gospel. My Bishop seems pretty nice too, and many of my dear friends from Juniper are in my ward also.

I have a great schedule of classes, and plenty of time to work, I just need to find a job.

Well, I gotta get to class. Have a great day!

-PenningJade

Silence is NOT Golden

Everyone who knows me knows that I can hardly be quiet for two minutes, well, this past weekend I decided to try 36 hours without speaking.

I started at noon on Friday, right after my last class for the day so that I wouldn't have any troubles in my classes. I'm proud to say that I made it to 1 am without much trouble, then the trouble started... let's just say I exploded with words.

I would have made it, I'm sure, just complications came up, and I wasn't able to handle it quietly.... but I did go 11 whole hours without speaking! Proving that I do have better self-control than I thought.



Other than that I'm doing pretty well at SUU. I'm getting good grades, and starting to make good friends. Still no gentlemen of note, but I'm sure one will come around in due time. There's a formal dance this weekend with the Institute, and I'm really wanting to go, but it's boy's choice, so it would take  miracle for me to go, thankfully, I believe in miracles!


Have a fantastic day, and read on to see my Halloween post!

-PenningJade

Pledge, Party and Pathetic...

Last week was pledge week for the sororities on campus, and I pledged Alpha Phi. They didn't want me, but that's okay, because I can't afford them.  It was kinda fun to do though. We made dog toys for the local animal shelter. It was so much fun. That was probably the best part of it, so I guess I'm not all that bummed.

Last weekend was the family reunion, and THAT was a party! My awesome cousin and his wife, and their cute little girl picked me up from my student housing building right after my last class of the day, and we were able to make it to camp by 3. My mom was there, and I gave her a big hug. We played games, and talked, and just enjoyed each other's company. I really love my family. We had a Family Feud Showdown (made by Harmonie) and my team made it to the finals, but lost, by 30 points, I guess there's no beating Holland. We were called the "Red Lanterns" which is a dig at me, but I'm learning to just laugh along and act dumb when my family makes fun of me (it really works) It was really nice to reconnect with my cousins, they really mean alot to me, and I'm so grateful for my big family.

Pathetic... That's how I describe the state I'm in now... I broke my flash-drive in half and it had my essay (due tomorrow) on it, so now I have to rewrite it! Note to self: ALWAYS save important documents on my hard-drive as well as on my flash! Well, now i need to rewrite, but the good news is that it's fixable, so I'll be able to retrieve the lost info if I get it to an electrical engineering student ASAP.

Well, that's all the time I have for now (I DO have an entire essay to rewrite) So I'll leave it at that.

"Life is better when you can laugh & learn from your mistakes"

-Penningjade

Graduation!!!

I hate how I always begin my blog with an apology about not writing for a while, but that won't end until I become a faithful blogger....

Many things have happened since I last blogged. So I'll give a bulleted list.

• My drama class team went to state, and won, big time, if there was a placement system, we would have taken first. Also, every I.E. piece that we took to state took overall, or straight superiors. High-five to Mrs. Thames for doing that her first year teaching.
• As I mentioned, I had the lead role in my school's spring play, and it was the most fun role in my life. To those of you who missed it, that's okay. If you're just DYING to see it, I have a DVD of the performance, but... please, don't feel like you have to see it, it's over, and I'm moving on in my life. But it was probably the most rewarding acting experience of my life.
• Stage technology class was so much fun! I learned so much, and grew to appreciate the people who work behind the scenes to make me look good in the spotlight.
• Even more important & permanent in my life, my sister had a baby, and he is the CUTEST little boy I have ever seen! I love that they live in the Valley, so that they can come over often, so that I can see my perfect little nephew.
• I got a new cell phone. I am pretty excited about it, it has a camera, so I can take pictures of my perfect little nephew.
• I enjoyed my last trimester of high school, all of my teachers were really understanding, and accommodating with my busy schedule as the lead.
• I graduated high school, a big step, or so I'm told. So now I'm on to bigger and better things...
• I still need a job, so if anyone knows somewhere that is hiring seasonal positions, please, please, email me an application, or a link to an application.
• I dispelled my "cabin fever" by going to the cabin the day after graduation. I took my part-time-brother, Stu, with me to fix the pipes that burst last fall, and I had a blast showing him the beauty of that landscape. There is nothing so satisfying as when you ascend the mountain and see the pure landscape.

I'm sure there was more than that, but I don't have more time, so I will end here

I remain evermore, penningjade

-Crystal Jade

Life Comes at You Fast, Especially When You Don't Want it to!

Why does it seem like life is moving too fast? I haven't posted in a while because it hasn't seemed like anything has happened, but actually a lot has!

• My Drama class is going to state competition with our one act play that we performed the weekend after 2nd tri. ended. (it's called Fortress)
• My individual piece (from Moliere's Tartuffe) is also going to the state competition.
• 2nd tri ended, and now I've got all new classes (except Drama)
• I'm finished with my Preschool class, and now I don't get to see any of those cute kids again, which is a total bummer, because they're some of the cutest kids I've ever seen. (other than my own nieces)
• I am taking the Stage Technology class at my school, and I'm really learning a ton! It's a way fun class, we're building an AWESOME set for our play that is going to take place in May. I am also getting to learn how to use the light board, I was wanting to learn the sound board, but it sounds about 200 times more complex than the light board, so I'll leave that to the people who know what they're doing for now.
• I've decided on a school for next year, I'm going to attend SUU, pending getting a scholarship or grant to pay my way with. I'll work through the next year if I'm not able to afford school next year, of course.
• Still working on my second book, Frog Eyes and Fairy Tales. It's hopefully going to be great, I'm totally loving the story right now, and it's staying pretty true to my original vision for it. hopefully that will be true by the time I finish.

Can't really think of much more to update about. I will try to be better about monthly or weekly updates, but my senior year of high school has just been so hectic!

Smile more, laugh always, and love unconditionally!

-Crystal Jade

January 2010

Hey, it's the last week of January and a lot of stuff has happened. Here's a quick bulleted list:

• I turned eighteen! Which means that my library card has expired :( so now i have to get a new one.
• I survived my school's Totalitarian Simulation. We simulated a totalitarian society, and I was in the party. It was a neat experience, and I now hold much greater value on my freedoms as an American!
• My car died, but then was revived thanks to the smartness of my uncle, and the generosity of my parents.
• I went to the UTA Conference at UVU. it was really cool. The keynote speaker was Ann Bogart. She gave an awesome speech. I took pages of notes, it not only gave me good tips for acting, but great information for life in general.
• I have been given the opportunity to be the lead in my favorite play. I'm so thrilled! I am Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing! I'm so excited! the performance is in May, those who would like to come see it (it's being put on by the high school) contact me, and I'll get you more info.
• My best friend left on his mission last month, and I'm excited for him. Every letter from him makes me feel like a zillion dollars, and every time I write a letter to him, I feel so much better. It's a great thing. To all young men reading this blog: go on a mission, it's the best thing for you!
• Christmas & New Year's were great. I got to spend the whole time with my family, whom I love!

well, that's about all I have time for, I'll try to get more on soon.

I wish you all happy lives happy days, happy hearts!

-Crystal Jade

Back To School

Well, here I am, starting my senior year of high school. I have some killer classes this tri., two of which showcase the two dominant, yet opposite sides of my personality. Preschool (which showcases my future-homemaker side that loves to bake, and care for little ones) should be fun, but it will also be a ton of work ( I counted 8 essays, I think, plus all the other stuff i have to do in that class). The other class is Theater 3 (which showcases my love for fun and expressing myself in a unique way). Those are my 4th and 5th periods, so a great way to end the day, right? along with that I'm taking Psychology 1010, English 1010, and Math 1050.

I'm not really fully awake right now, so I'm going to use bullets rather than try to string two thoughts together.


First impressions (school):

• There are some cute people in my math class, so that should be good, seeing as it's math, so I will need as much help as I can get.

• I have the same B.A.M.S. teacher this year, and she's just stinkin' awesome (she's grown on me over the past 3 years).

• The new drama teacher still scares me. Actually I'm almost terrified of her, but I'll get over that soon.

• I'm excited because the Shakespeare competition will be the weekend after Conference, instead of the weekend of Conference, so I don't have to lose that family time.

Summer Quickies:

• I baked at least 30 dozen cookies this summer. (I call baking my new nasty habit)

• I burned myself baking cookies this summer (actually there was a story behind this: I was baking cookies to put in my purse when my friends and I went to the premier of the sixth Harry Potter movie, and burned a dozen, so as i was scraping them into the trash, I got distracted by the conversation I was having with my best friend, Stu, and i rested the still-hot cookie sheet against my arm. Needless to say, I burned myself good. Well, he went to Disney World this last week, and he brought me back an oven mitt so that I wouldn't burn myself... I thought it best to remind him that every time i burned myself this summer (4) I was wearing an oven mitt.)

• I got to take care of my beautiful older sister Summer's girls for a few weeks. That was probably the highlight of my summer they were cuter than a box of kittens, and so well behaved. I want 3 just like them when I'm much older (like 7 years at least). But it was a blast. I got to meet some awesome people. The Riches, Lacey, and the Simpsons left the most lasting impression, but I also loved Sis. Butler, and all the little beehives (Summer's Hurricane ward is pretty sweet)

• I attended what might unfortunately be my last year of girls' camp as a youth, and LOVED every minute of it. I got to be YCL for an exemplary group of 13-year-old girls. I hope they had a good time. I tried my best.

• I went to Lagoon (where fun is) with my best friends, Nick, Nick, and Nicie (Stu, Wallace and Nicie). We had a blast, I think friends are the family you get to choose, and sometimes have to lose. ( but I hope I never have to lose these 3 because they make me happy)

• I made a quilt this summer too with the help of my awesome friend Kenz. It's really cute. it's blue and green. It is only a rag quilt, nothing extremely fancy, but it makes me happy.
• l
• I started a new book (Frog Eyes and Fairy Tales) It's about Nick, Nick, Nicie and myself with many of my other friends thrown in. I took major creative licence on the characterizations, but I tried to keep the reasons I love each person in their characters. The book is actually written for Nicole, and I don't know how many others I'm going to let read it, but I may if you send me a special request.

Well, that's all for now, folks. I gotta go work on MATH HOMEWORK (blech!)

End of school

it has not hit me yet that i will not be going back to the classes that have tortured me for the past few weeks. i have not yet fully realized that i won't see many of my close acquaintances ever again. they will all move on and become "real" people. with lives and jobs... AHHHH! that's me in a year.

here is reality: i am now a senior! i have turned in my check out slip, and all grades are final. my Junior year of high school is OVER! I'm half dancing, and half crying. you know me, i don't do endings! i cry at the end of every movie, simply because it's over, don't believe me? that's because i hide it so well.

it is a wonder to me that the friends i have now won't be my friends in 30 years, my mom certainly doesn't see many of her high school friends any more. is this what it comes to.... i put all this effort into friendships, and in even so much as 2 years the people i love will have forgotten me. that's not fair. i sincerely love Nick, Nicole, Nicholas, Annie, and many of the others. i don't want to lose them. that doesn't make sense. but hopefully the technologies that my generation has hold of, we'll stay in touch at the touch of a few buttons. that seems better to me. i hope it is the reality.

i realize now that there are more cute guys at my school than i could find in a school out of state. but i don't give a fetch what a guy looks like. yeah, it's nice to have all his parts there, nose, eyes, etc. but that isn't what matters. it's what he says and does that matters. i am constantly commenting to my friends, "oooOh, that boy is cute" or "man that boy is a hottie" some of my friends only know that shallow side of me (sorry for them) but i don't think that way, and the boys who i comment on their looks are usually the guys i avoid talking to... not because they're awful people, just because i suffer from chronic shyness (you wouldn't guess that, but i'm even shy around my own family sometimes) but there are some boys who have looks and personality, and it is wonderful to be their friends, and that is totally what you want, but it would be nice if they were... well... okay more than a friend. that's where i'm at right now. i value his friendship as more than all the gold in the universe, and i care for him immensely, but i don't know what he thinks of me. Ugh i always do this to my self! new rule: "Crystal isn't allowed to try to gauge how people feel about her, because she'll always judge that they think she's a freak that they're forced out of civility to spend time with." all who agree with this rule say "aye" t

hat's what i thought...


moving on:

my summer starts, and i'll be out of town for the first 5-6 weeks. but that's okay, because i have the last few to relax while i try to find a job for the school year. (i'm hoping that i'll get one in this place by my house... i hope they have an opening at the end of the summer)

if you have my number, don't hesitate to text me. i love talking to people. it's sorta my thing that i do. and if you don't have my number then i feel sorry for you, unless you're a stranger... in which case... i'm sorry, but that's not where i talk to strangers.

wow. this is my last post for a while. (on penningjade) and i hope every one will have a great time this summer, even if your routine doesn't change. just live life, laugh at your own mistakes, and love the people you surround yourself with.

Fast Forward on Pause.

the picture of my life hasn't really changed much in the last few weeks, I'm still not dating boys, I'm still in school, I'm still shorter than I'd like to be, but a few things have changed.

1. i cut my hair. this time it was really a big change, but i thought I'd do something new for Amber's wedding.

this picture is odd, but it was the only one that would upload right...




2. I have gained more confidence, although i have still not mastered it, i am able to stand in front of people as myself without much fear.



There are some things that never change, i guess.

• I'm still afraid of spiders; the other morning i found one in the bathroom, and i screamed for help, and Angel just sat there, ignoring me. I was stuck until Mom came to rescue me.


• i still like boys. i don't know if i want that one to change. but since i was 3 or 4 I've liked many different boys. each time it was the same, i liked him, he didn't know, he found out, and his back as he ran away screaming was the last thing I'd ever see of him. but this time it's different, he knows, and i don't care that he knows, neither does he. we're still friends, and nothing more. :D


• i will never be happy with anything but the best from myself. i have pretty impressive grades this trimester, all A's excepting one C, and one B+, and those two classes are KILLER. but , being me, i am murderously unhappy about the C, and the B+ drives me crazy too...

i guess changes are only changed if i change them, so i should work on that..... well i have run out of time. so i shall sign out from here, although i did want to put up one pic of me from Prom.

anyhow. thanks for reading my posts. :D have a spectacular day!

New Trimester

ugh! i hate endings! i miss my creative writing class most of all, but i love the freedom i have now that i have 2 online courses, because on days where i have nothing to do, i can just sit at the computer and write... I've gotten some fun stuff written...

i love my friends though. and life is pretty fantastic. i have friends in every class to talk to, but there are these annoying guys who sit behind me in one of my classes that are always saying "calm down" even when i am not being keyed up... it sort of bothers me, but i always laugh because when they swear, i tell them to calm down and they get a taste of their own medicine. ha ha!

I'm trying to start exercising again. it is sort of fun, I've taken to riding the stationary bicycle in the basement for half an hour at a time, it is really sweet. i love feeling the burn without feeling the fire in my lungs, because i can still breathe when i ride, where i can't when i run...

i'm missing the stage right now, but i'm satisfying myself by singing almost constantly, so i torture my loved twin sister wit that ha ha! but she loves me anyhow, doesn't she...

well, i think i'll write more later this week, but i'm done for now... so that's all for now, and:

have a fantastic day!

-crystal Jade

Poetry

so i have a Creative Writing class that I'm taking, it's super-uper-dooper fun!( i pretty much love all the classes of my day! i have the four BEST classes ever, and one not so bad.)
Well, i'm pretty much loving life, watching Crime shows, and stuff that makes me feel better about the relative calmnes of my life...
right, back to my Creative Writing class... i have to write poetry (as you can assume from the title of the class....) well, i thought i'd post some of my better stuff on this place so you could read it.

Keep in mind that i'm a writer based on exagerations, so alot of these poems are based upon DRAMATIC exxagerations of emotions....enjoy :D


(Distraction)

You make my mind curdle
like milk left to long.
You make my mind wander
like Louis and Clark.

With you two and two are five.
A pumpkin is more than a squash.
And the sun burns bright.

Trying to concentrate on an old dead guy
taking notes
Zoning out
my notes are you.
I want to learn you.
You’re my favorite chemistry.
I try to learn Graham
but I won’t

Something in the Shadows

Beyond my line of vision,
past all things I can see
there’s something out there pawing
it’s out to murder me
a wave of fierce attention
then forgotten into sleep
through mists and fog
inside it hides to force me six feet deep.
I sense it in my mind’s eye
I hear it’s calling faint.
I don’t know where it comes from
But I really need to find
What lurks there in the shadows
If it’s not just in my mind.

Something in the Shadows

Beyond my line of vision,
past all things I can see
there’s something out there pawing
it’s out to murder me
a wave of fierce attention
then forgotten into sleep
through mists and fog
inside it hides to force me six feet deep.
I sense it in my mind’s eye
I hear it’s calling faint.
I don’t know where it comes from
But I really need to find
What lurks there in the shadows
If it’s not just in my mind.

(Unreal)

This cannot happen
Ice and snow burning me while
I freeze to death voluntarily.

This is brokenness. I have lost faith
in you In love In me
This cannot happen.

Tonight is the end.
I give up on all that I knew
As I freeze to death voluntarily.

Then I’m pulled out, out of
my snow bank and I think
This cannot happen

I want to die to cry
To end the pain
As I freeze to death voluntarily

This cannot happen
Don’t save me and stop me
As I freeze to death voluntarily

Sam

Best friend.

After all that we’ve been through
Every heart break
Every month ache
You have been there
Standing tall
Arms open for me
To cry to die, to pretend
that what I’m going through is
the end of the world.
and still you stand by

And then I realize
All your lies
And you turn

Best fried?

Pffh!
Pushing me out of a moving vehiclehurting my physically and mentally
Some friend!
But I’ll be there.
Arms open
Even though my wrist is sprained
I’m here for you

Best friend.


(Ignoring Love)


What is that?
Love?
I don’t hear its call.
it blares in my ears
it stomps on my face
it follows me around
poking me in the eye
but I can’t hear it
I can’t see it
I won’t let myself feel it.

but I have love
that I know clear as jade

Tomorrow maybe I’ll see love
But today, I love water
I’ll die for water


Talking Crazy

Don’t be rash.
Don’t leap in.
Like fools in love
Because he is not the only man

Don’t let adolescence win
And cause you to die
In a true lover’s style
Because today is not the end.

Don’t run with scissors
Don’t drink and drive
Like an idiot with no conscience
Because if you’re safe you won’t get hurt

Don’t forget who you are
And blind yourself with fantasy
In every movement you see
Because a moment can hurt tomorrow

Then run to where you would be
If he weren’t there to destroy you
And forget about how he made you feel
Because wise fools never rush in

Oblivious

He smiles when I look at him
I can’t imagine why
He makes me laugh repetitively
I can’t imagine why
But each movement he makes
Make me feel safe
Each word from his lips
Is eloquence
I can’t imagine why
I see his face as plain as mansions
And he is looking at me
Smiling, with desire, and
I can’t imagine why.

okay, so that's a taste of my poetry, (also of my book because most of the poems are about chapters in my book, you know, Snowdrifts, so yeah.

Have a Super-ooper-dooper day!

-Crystal Jade

Nothing to blog about for my last blog of the year....

i really don't have anything to say but i figure that writing a blog is better than sitting on the couch watching the Disney channel all day....

merry Christmas to everyone! (a week late, but all the same).

i love to think over all that i have progressed this year. there are a few things i would have liked to say i accomplished this year, but some of them i didn't.

• i didn't get my drivers license.
• i didn't lose the 20 pounds i set out to lose.
• i didn't write three novels.
• i fought with my sisters way too much
• and i didn't get a job.

it's really my fault with all of these. i didn't get my license because i forgot to get the paperwork all put together before yesterday. and the rest of my goals were a little unrealistic (it's really really hard not to fight with your siblings when you share a bathroom)

but there were a lot of things i did manage to do.

• i got my hours for my drivers license
• i finally accepted that i am not a twig, nor do i want to be a twig.
• i wrote one really great novel
• i have gotten used to the fact that my sisters will pick on me a lot, so i just need to ignore it (much easier said than done)
• and i applied for a job, and plan on applying for more.
• i got a 4.0 for two trimesters.
• i made a friend out of an enemy.
• i went on my first date, and my second one too. (both were setups, still not been asked)
• i learned how to share a cell phone.
• i made a lot of amazing friends.
• i even lettered in academics.

i am pretty proud of my accomplishments. i did a lot of things that i never thought i could have. 2008 has been a pretty great year!

i am, however, excited to get past this milestone. my sixteenth year. wow. i'm almost seventeen!

i hope to do a world of good next year. here's a basic overview of what i want to accomplish in 2009.

• get my license
• get a job
• go to prom (most likely by myself, but i'd love to be asked!)
• get all my classes ready for graduation.
• get into the advanced drama classes for next school year.
• do the school musical for next school year.
• apply for colleges
• get into college.
• and date some boys (that's a carryover from last year's list)

i also have a few major goals that are a bit bigger. they fall into four catagories: spiritual, physical, social, and intelectual. i have mad a goal for those catagories as well as an overall goal for 2009.

• spiritual- write in my journol. i am good about blogging big events, even journoling them, but i need to get better about writing down the little mercies in my life.
• physical- workout 60 min. a week. most years my goal is to lose a certian ammount of weight, or to excercise alot. but in reality, i'm not that into sports and excersize, so i've decided that 60 min. a week is perfect for me.
• socially- tolerate stupid people doing stupid stuff that i catch myself doing from time to time. Hypocracy isn't my favorite thing, but i catch myself doing it alot, so i've decited that it will be eiser to like others if i excuse them of my faults.
• intilectual- study for 30 min. a day increase to 45 min. for test week. i've decided that in 2009 i'm going to try somehting new: studying. i have usually gotten A's with no effort, but lately that isn't so. so i'm going to actually study every day! weird huh?!
• OVER ALL- i've decided that in 2009 i need to learn to like myself better. i need to learn that i have faults, and learn to be okay with that. if i learn to lie me, i can more easily learn to like others. and to accept the fact that people may actually like me!

this year has been great! but lets say hello to 2009 in style!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (a little early...)

School Daze

Other than the very exciting news that my sister had her baby this week (a girl, Evalynn) I have nothing new to report. I am almost done with the editing of Snowdrifts, I would be done by now, but the library at school is closed during lunches for testing, so I have to wait until next Tuesday to get back in there to finish (the only time I really get to sit down without being harassed by someone [or the Internet] is at lunch in the library)

I'm excited for Christmas, and I just wanted to take a little time to mention what I forgot to say a few weeks ago on Thanksgiving. I'm grateful for my friends this year, especially Yazzy and Brooke. I'm also grateful for my sisters, all of them are so wonderful, and they're such great examples for me.

School is a slump right now.... not much going on there..... no boys in my life (to my dismay).... not really acting at the moment, a hard thing to do for me (not act)..... I love music..... I like boys with accents..... and that's enough random things from my mouth before I say too much....

Thanks for reading this week, I'm grateful for you!

Happy Holidays!

End of the Trimester.

I already know my major downfall as a writer, I hate writing "The End" or finishing off my story in any way. I always feel that I can do more if given more time, so with writing, I take more time (and more time, and more time, and more time....) but with my education, I cannot choose how much time I take. If it were up to me, i would get to spend all my life continuing my education, but I will need to move on from high school for good eventually. (Unless I do what Arti is doing which is exactly what i want to do)

Well, this concept of me hating ends comes up even more apparently when the term in school ends.

Last Thursday concluded the first trimester of my Junior year in high school. It seems like a sweet thing, I am done with math for the year, and I get to relax from acting for a little while, but it's still hard. The two classes that were driving me berserk are the two classes I'm most sorry to leave.
Another class I'm sorry to leave is my seminary class. the group was a ton of fun, and our teacher was the best I've had. (I tend to think that about every seminary teacher). But the group was really exceptional. The boys were some of the cutest seminary boys ever, and everyone was so nice to me. I'm gonna miss them, but I have seminary again next trimester, so I hope I will get the chance to love a whole new group of my peers.

Twilight came out over the weekend, and I was really excted to see it, but my mom says we're going to see it over the Thanksgiving break as a family (I'll try to hold her to that.)

Snowdrifts, though I'm finished with the third draft, is still too much bones, and not enough meat, so I'm going head into the fourth draft, in hopes that I will finish by the end of the year, there are only a few things I need to change, because it's generally pretty good. I just need to print myself a copy, and figure out what it is that is bugging me so emmensely (there's just something that I can't stand about the first two chapters) there is also some loose ends that I left untied, nd some character development that justifies my kindness to a character, and makes the story make more sense to the reader. But I hope to have a nicely bound copy on my bookshelf by my birthday (that is a plan I am working for)


Life is good. I got a decent GPA last trimester, and I have quite a few classes that i'm excited to start tomorrow.

I just want to say thanks to a few people, I'll just mention their names.

Mom, Yaz, Nicie, Annie, Mrs. Atkinson, Megan, Brooke, Kim, Michie, Chel, Cory, Stu, Remi.... that should cover it for now. Thanks to all who are there for me, whether i mentioned your name or not. You are a great blessing in my life.

-Crystal Jade